There are just some combinations of words you just never expect to come out of your mouth in the same sentence. It’s true. I mean separately, you’ve probably said each of the words in the sentence several times before, but all together, if you were a betting man, you’d risk it all that those words would never come together.

Tonight, I would have lost everything on that bet.

Yes my friends, I said something that I didn’t even realize was something that I would ever HAVE to say. To fill you in a little for those who don’t know me, I am a father of three boys and tonight during the evening ritual of getting the boys into bed, IT HAPPENED.

Yes, I uttered THOSE WORDS.

“Gareth quit wiping your butt on your brother!”

What’s worse is that after saying those words, I wanted to laugh. No, wanting to laugh is not the horrible thing, the horror occurred because I could NOT laugh at the absurdity of the situation. No, I had to be a GOOD EXAMPLE.

My wife wanted to laugh too, we exchanged glances and tried to hide our mirth as best we could. She, the chicken, got to flee the crime scene as I had to wrangle my son into the bathroom to finish wiping his butt with the proper materials (i.e. not his little brother).

Yes, being a parent is hard. I mean, if they had told me that being a parent meant you couldn’t laugh when someone tries to wipe their butt on someone else, then I think I would have seriously considered THE OPERATION.

Ah, who am I kidding? I love being a dad! Odd sentences, dirty butts and all.

Ok, I’m actually surprised I’m the one who’s going to make a post about this since I know for a fact that other’s in my community have much bigger issues in the bathroom realm, but I just can’t keep silent any longer.

Basically, it comes down to this. If I hear the words “Hello” from the stall next to mine, it had better be followed by those uncomfortable words “Do you have any toilet paper, cuz I’m all out over here.”

It should never, let me re-emphasize, NEVER EVER IN A MILLION GAJILLION YEARS be followed by “How are you doing today honey?”

I mean I recognize we’re in the age of multitasking, but that is just taking it too far. The bathroom toilet is NOT a place to hold phone conversations. And if you think it is, I make you this solemn vow right here and now. If you are EVER in a stall next to me and receive or make a phone call, I will make every effort to make it the worst experience you have ever had.

I will moan, I will grunt, I will sigh, I will flush and moan and grunt and flush and scream, moan and sigh and flush some more. I want the person you are talking to know where you are and what you were trying to do. I want them and you to feel so utterly uncomfortable experiencing this birthing process that must be going on in the stall next to you that you will never attempt to do such a heinous act again. The next time you get the urge to make a phone call you will remember what happened and you’ll shake twice, wash your hands, exit the bathroom and then and only then make your call.

I will continue to do this until all the bathrooms that I frequent are once again phone call free.

Here’s an interesting Blog post Rick found that kind of goes in conjunction with our previous post. It’s a pretty interesting concept.

Are you Mort, Elvis or Einstein?

I pretty sure that I’m not a Mort, but I don’t think I’m entirely an Einstein either (although I am at times) so I would say that I’m mainly an Elvis.

Which are you?

So, here’s a question to ponder. What creates the better software developer? A Bachelor of Science in a computer degree or self-taught, hands on learning in the field?

If I had been asked this question a year ago I would have said college education made the better programmer, no question. I felt the college education made a more professional, more flexible and better-equipped programmer. I didn’t have any ‘fact’s to base this on, other than the fact that I had a college education and I was the best programmer EVER.

Then I changed jobs and was introduced to some self-made programmers and I have to say my opinion began to sway. I was no longer the BEST, I was just pretty good. In fact, surprisingly enough to myself, there were quite a few areas where I could stand to learn A LOT more. In fact the longer I work with these guys, the more they make me wonder if the large chunk of change I shell out every month to pay down humongous college loans is worth it. Would I have made it as far without my degree or even further without the heavy debt load?

Just taking a look at the 4Guys themselves, shows a wide range of paths to software development with equal degrees of skill and/or professionalism. Of the 3 remaining 4 guys at viewpoint, one has a high school degree and somehow can speak to computers directly in their native tongue, he just “gets it” as he would say, another has a college education as a chemist and then self-taught himself programming when he realized chemistry jobs sucked, and then I have my computer science degree.

So with just the three of us I would have to say each of us have some strengths that the others lack but I wouldn’t put either one ahead or behind myself when it comes to measuring their level of programming godness. Are any of us better off because we did or did not take the college education route? I’m not sure.

From listening to other’s in the field, it seems that quite a few feel that college wasn’t worth the cost and really doesn’t do anything to make a better programmer. Of course, I usually hear that from guys who didn’t get the degree themselves. I still feel that typically the college education produce a programmer more likely to follow standards, but I’ve also seen it produce a programmer that can only do things by the book and get lost any time they need a solution the books don’t solve exactly. So does neither produce the professional software developer? Does the programmer produce himself?

I tired and embarrassed of what I feel is the current image of programmers and I’m just wondering what it takes to create the type of programmer that I want to become the industry standard. I want programmers that take professional pride in their work. Ones that take the time to research best practices and coding standards and then FOLLOW them. I want programmers that get active in the development community and share their knowledge and exchange this information. I want programmers that document and make comments in their code. I want programmers that use object-oriented practices and take the time to refactor their code. I want these standards to become associated with Software Developers and I want to know what paths of learning it takes to create them.

So which is it? Can the basement coder become a professional developer, does it require a college education or it something else altogether?